Surviving Suicide: https://gumroad.com/l/MuJu

It was a hard decision whether or not to put this up. I mean, I have no make up on, there’s clearly lotion under my eyebrow that I didn’t rub all the way in, and the most frightening thing: it’s real. It’s just my heart puking up a bunch of emotion, tears and embarrassing vulnerability.

But I felt like a hypocrite in a way. I asked myself, “Oh, so you have no qualms about slapping up a funny video where you can hide behind a script, but you can’t just sit there and talk about your feelings like a real person? You can’t just say ‘Hey, if you’re thinking of doing this, please don’t, because this is how it will feel to everyone who’s left over’?” 

I cringed the entire time I rewatched this video. Yup. I had to edit it, I had to export it, and right now I’m uploading it and writing this description. I feel embarrassed. Like maybe this is narcissistic in its own way. What if people think I’m doing it for something as stupid as views? What if I don’t come across the way I want to? What if my message is misinterpreted? 

But the fact that this scares me so much means I need to put it out there. It’s been a long, long, time since I’ve been afraid to speak up and say something. Especially because… this hits home. There’s no jokes (although I do laugh in it sometimes, like we all occasionally do when we’re bawling our eyes out), and I tried to keep the jump cuts to a minimum (though if I didn’t cut out those long stretches of me trying not to cry, this video would be 10 minutes longer). 

It’s not about me, you know? I guess I finally realized it’s not about me. This video is about my sister, and about everyone else who wants to commit suicide.

Did you know? Suicide is a THIRD LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH in young people. THE FRIGGING THIRD LEADING CAUSE. After car accidents and homicide, more kids fall to pills, overdose, or knives than they do to illness. More kids choose death than let death find them.

That’s fucking scary. 

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let something as stupid and trivial as embarrassment over tears and the inability to be vulnerable stop me from trying to help some kid out there who needs just one reason to live. 

Some kid who just feels alone, lost, angry, confused and wants to escape. Some kid who feels unloved, unwanted, unheard, unseen and invisible. Some kid who thinks that no one would care if they didn’t exist anymore. Some kid like my sister. 

If I can help just one, then putting myself out there was worth it. So I hope you know… someone cares. Even if they don’t you, they know someone just like you who made the decision to say goodbye. 

And they don’t want you to say goodbye too.



——-

SUICIDE HOTLINES
Albania: 127
Argentina: (54-11) 4758-2554
Australia: 13 11 14
Austria: 142
Barbados: (246) 4299999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: +55 51 211 2888
Canada - Greater Vancouver: 604-872-3311
Canada - Toll free-Howe Sound/Sunshine Coast: 18666613311
Canada - TTY: 1-866-872-0113
Canada - BC-wide: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
China: 0800-810-1117
China (Mobile/IP/extension users): 010-8295-1332
Croatia: (01) 4833-888
Cyprus: +357 77 77 72 67
Denmark: +45 70 201 201
Estonia (1): 126
Estonia (2): 127
Estonia (3): 646 6666
Fiji (1): 679 670565
Fiji (2): 679 674364
Finland: 01019-0071
France: (+33) (0)9 51 11 61 30
Germany (1): 0800 1110 111
Germany (2): 0800 1110 222
Germany (youth): 0800 1110 333
Ghana: 233 244 846 701
Greece: (0) 30 210 34 17 164
Hungary: (46) 323 888
India: 2549 7777
Ireland (1): +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90
Ireland (2): +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92
Ireland (3): 1850 60 90 90
Ireland (4): 1850 60 90 91
Israel: 1201
Italy: 199 284 284
Japan (1): 03 5774 0992
Japan (2): 03 3498 0231
Kenya: +254 20 3000378/2051323
Liberia: 06534308
Lithuania: 8-800 2 8888
Malaysia (1): (063) 92850039
Malaysia (2): (063) 92850279
Malaysia (3): (063) 92850049
Malta: 179
Mauritius: (230) 800 93 93
Namibia: (09264) 61-232-221
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand (1): (09) 522 2999
New Zealand (2): 0800 111 777
Norway: +47 815 33 300
Papua New Guinea: 675 326 0011
Philippines: 02 -896 - 9191
Poland (1): +48 527 00 00
Poland (2): +48 89 92 88
Portugal: (808) 200 204
Samoa: 32000
Serbia: 32000
Singapore: 1800- 221 4444
South Africa: 0861 322 322
Sweden (1): 020 22 00 60
Sweden (2): 020 22 00 70
Switzerland: 143
Thailand: (02) 713-6793
Ukraine: 058
United Kingdom (1): 08457 909090
United Kingdom (2): +44 1603 611311
United Kingdom (3): +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92
United Kingdom (4): 1850 60 90 90
United Kingdom (5): 1850 60 90 91
United States of America: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Zimbabwe (1): (263) 09 65000
Zimbabwe (2): 0800 9102

animateglee

lacigreen:

joponyhere:

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